tabula rasa

you were, i think, surprisingly close to breaking out of your whole thang. things began to have names, names began to have possibilities, trees became possibilities, just growing. how exciting the thought that such great heights could be reached in such improbable times. how unfortunate then, to have the gates shut again, for no more padangs, riversides, forbidden hills. now it is back to concrete an existence away from where your heart is, it is back to unfunny times with unfunny people. you could be surprised though, much like all of this originally was. how improbable you say, what could beat sublimating history, to be transcended thus, to be happy for just being? i do hope you will be surprised, for a chance to experience again the wide-eyed wonder that was just six months ago, two months later.

used to be one of the rotten ones and i liked you for that
now you're all gone, got your make-up on and you're not coming back
bleaching your teeth, smiling flash, talking trash under your breath
park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
anthems for a 17 year-old girl, broken social scene

because

because i am a boy, never anything else. because day after day i start to see a man. because i must be immortal - i must live on, somehow. because i someday will die, so little time, so many things to do. because i am driven, with goals in life. because, after all, how much really matters - should i even try? because i dont have time or fancy for drivel from people who want to talk. because now, here i am, talking. because i am running and swimming, tennis and football. because i am eat and drink and tv and internet and sleep and shit. because i am, like, tOkKiN LiDdAt HaLf e TiMe. because i am gauguin, 'allo 'allo and DCFC. because i am not willing to get cable because it is "a waste of money". because i dont think twice about taking a cab anywhere and everywhere. because i am Save Nguyen Tuong Van and Save The Earth. because now all i do is turn away, and turn the newspaper pages. because i am dark-skinned and large-eyed with double lids. because the only time i ever spoke the truth was in chinese. because i am no gambling and no drinking and will not "backbite" or "slander". because i am mad stupor and wild sex. because i will always love monica, always remember amanda. because i also ogle at guys' asses. because to me theres nothing like living in the now. because i can never stop thinking of tomorrow. because i dont want to crush you, but i feel like crushing you.

so, yes, how could i not be quite very frightened?

diwali sans dharma

MINILovin'

dharma! ND trivia! La Fawnduh hands ND a tape saying her cousin made it. before the "canned heat" dance sequence, ND takes the tape and hands it to AVguy. so, jamiroquai is La Fawnduh's cousin! agh! and im showing ND to everyone who cares and they all love it!