and miles to go

this week is the closing of on the road and this week is the leaving of a dearest blood. so, miles to go with the dreary feeling in the dead of noon. past 16th, central, blood, there isnt anymore brothers to hang out with and now even the afternoon will come like night does. maybe i can take this, but maybe i cant. all i'm sure of is, i never wanted to leave central, never wanted to leave home.

on the road by jack kerouac
"It was remarkable how Dean could go mad and then suddenly continue with his soul - which I think is wrapped up in a fast car, a coast to reach, and a woman at the end of the road - calmly and sanely as though nothing had happened."

" 'Oh, man,' said Dean to me as we stood in front of a bar, 'dig the street of life, the Chinamen that cut by in Chicago. What a weird town - wow, and that woman in that window up there, just looking down with her big breasts hanging from her nightgown, big wide eyes. Whee. Sal, we gotta go and never stop going till we get there.' "

"All the cigarette butts, the bottles, the matchbooks, the come and gone were swept up in this pile. Had they taken me with it, Dean would never have seen me again. He would have had to roam the entire United States and look in every garbage pail from coast to coast before he found me embryonically convoluted in among the rubbishes of my life, his life, and the life of everybody concerned and not concerned. What would I have said to him from my rubbish womb? 'Dont bother me, man, I'm happy where I am. You lost me one night in Detroit in August nineteen forty-nine.' "

" 'I'll tell you, Sal, straight, no matter where I live, my trunk's always sticking out from under the bed, I'm ready to leave or get thrown out. I've decided to leave everything out of my hands. You've seen me try and break my ass to make it and you know that it doesnt matter and we know time - how to slow it up and walk and dig and just old-fashioned spade kicks, what other kicks are there?' "

" "All right, we wont talk.' And he started telling the story of what he did in LA on the way over in every possible detail, how he visited a family, had dinner, talked to the father, the sons, the sisters - what they looked like, what they ate, their furnishings, their thoughts, their interests, their very souls; it took him three hours of detailed elucidation, and having concluded this he said, 'Ah, but you see what I wanted to REALLY tell you - much later - Arkansas, crossing on train - playing flute - play cards with boys, my dirty deck - won money, blew sweet-potato solo - for sailors. Long awful trip five days and five nights just to SEE you, Sal.' "

and i think, this is really how and why i miss 16th, central and my blood. the wild horses and lockers and soul and courage in the face of fire and kickin down d streets and shootin d afternoon breeze, and, and really, my.

i can see for miles,
i can see your face
within the miles
that lie between us.

away with the sea,
the sea that lies
between you and me.
the tears, they float
away with the sea.
aswefall between us

cc

you know you're moonlighting too much when you're done with ms word and you look for the "hold sales" button

ack