---the official promos soundtrack---
urban xchange :: sabar menanti
padi :: sesuatu yang indah
yusry :: dekat padamu
doktor kronik :: fanatik
david tao :: ji mo de ji jie
penny tai :: shui zhong yang
chen qi zhen :: tang zai ni de yi gui
shunza :: wo gei de ai
fountains of wayne :: everything's ruined
hole :: celebrity skin
garbage :: milk
starsailor :: silence is easy
sigur ros :: vidrar vel til loftarasa

i take a deep breath, and hope i end up in iceland

and to defend my tirade against chinese schools, here's another.chinese schools hide behind the wonderful name of sap schools to defend their right to exist.have you ever seen an indian sap school?not me.i think i'm in a wonderful position to do this, being a malay from a chinese school.chinese school people lead an all too easy lifestyle of segregation, they go to school speak in chinese, listen to chinese songs, watch chinese tv and movies mix with chinese people.[of course thats after they watch the american shows].they lead an all to easy life of chinese-ness, and for four years their social life stagnates at the chinese level.how many people from chinese schools have more than ten chinese friends before going to jc?how many people from chinese schools have more than ten chinese friends after going to jc?we have all too wonderful racial harmony fallacies.they're supposed to learn about other races in CME lessons, and then everyone starts to zone out and do maths homework.whats most ironic of all is that CME is conducted in chinese by teachers from china.how much do china teachers know about singapore society?and they invite non-chinese people to celebrate chinese new year in the name of breaking racial barriers.what happened during the chinese new year celebrations?dunmanians spoke in chinese among themselves and brought taiwanese sausages and bakkwa to the "racial harmony" party.what up?wouldnt it be a hell lot better to bring chinese school people to other schools for deepavali celebrations?[i half suspect that they invite non-chinese to CNY celebrations with the thought that they're taking up the white man's burden.but thats a baseless accusation].of course not everyone from chinese schools are like that [there's huanling charmaine terence and a whole bunch of cool people.i dont know about yvonne, she's always eating pork in front of me, but then again she's forever eating pork.last i heard she stuffed a charsiewbao into her bra].but i think the majority of people in a majority of chinese schools are like that.so the onus is on you, you chinese school person, to prove that you're not taken in by the entire chinese school thing.

dear dear whatever, how can i show you how much i'm laughing at you right now?if only you'd play closer attention to the BMW list, you'd notice that black people music, hip hop and rnb are in inverted commas. what could do mean?hmmm.i'm not quite sure, how about the fact that I QUOTED THEM? yep its not me who labelled it "black people music", its others who think that its all cool and hip, listening to "black people music".thats why its in the BMW list dont you get it?whats black people music? its bullshit.theres no such thing called black people music.even if there is it'd be jazz and blues.hiphop and rnb is such pop culture you cant label a race to it.i'm glad we agree we hate the term "black people music".besides i really think that hiphop in 2002/3 is on a downward slope.when it was all good and cool in the 90's when good groups like the fugees were still around everyone else was listening to backstreet boys.oh and just to doubly prove that i'm not racist against blacks how about this: i'm not even black but people in dunman high called me blackie. whats up with that? CHINESE SCHOOLS REALLY SUCK MAN.i hope ur laughing now too, Whatever.and if you're in the mood to critique blog pieces, take a closer read.and leave a name man, i mean, are you gonna register to vote as "Whatever"?i dont hate you or anything, hell i'm sorry all those people are scolding you on the guestbook.but just wake up your idea yes, and go direct your anti-racist hatred to places like dunman high.i still want your name.so we can laugh it off together.i mean, seriously, whatever right?

i am not a racist.i came from a chinese school you dumbass and i speak good chinese most probably even better than you i listen to david tao and mayday and i very well might know more about chinese culture than you so bugger off and besides i didnt say chinese was bad when i wrote about him.what are you a chinese chauvinist?not surprising, this is singapore after all, my home where malays are banished to the civil defence,where they spout chinese on channel 5,get channel8 actors who speak bad english to act in channel 5,and when the prime minister thinks its a disadvantage to learn malay. so screw you and in your own words, Whatever.oh and dont hide behind a nickname if you think you have a point

everyday a pit

it was easy to say nothing mattered
and then i saw the yellow brick road
and i was caught in that moment
between
between
at the fork in the road
of the path less taken
and the yellow brick road

follow follow
your heart your intuition
sway sway
heart and head
sing a song
flip a coin
wave a wand
reason and rhyme

everyday a you.everyday a fall.everyday a pick up.everyday a hole.everyday a decision to make.everyday a choice to lose.izinkanlah aku berlari,walaupun untuk sehari saja

hoi polloi

we celebrate the birth of BMW - bad music warriors - today.the founding members are celene and i,and we pledge to rid the world of people listening to bad music.we keep a list,and anytime we spy bad music 10metres [TEN METRES!] near us we scream BAD MUSIC,paste a red sticker on your forehead [that looks suspiciously like a pimple] and then pray for your salvation.

my proposal for The BMW List subject to celene's veto
jay chou
jolin
-boybands-
-boybands in denial-
savage garden. save "Santa Monica"
"black people music"/"r&b"/"hiphop" [most of it anyway]

sex and diamonds

he'd be like the next guy at the chicken rice queue.but he wasnt something fat, ugly or bald like everyone else in the chicken rice queue.he was chinese though, and chinese he was.he'd listen to jay on the chair beside his pool next to his flat under the sky filled with stars he'd tell his friend about, he'd listen to jay on the buses from toapayoh. and he never wanted to be the next guy in the queue, because he'd be too hungry to stand and wait.he'd buy from the queueless stalls with aunties fanning themselves on their fannies on their plastic stool, and then he would buy more from all the similar stalls. he always will, and it wasnt clear whether it was noble altruism, or if it was animal hunger. Hungry animals would pester him on his good days when he strutted around with the world slung at the perfect angle on his shoulder, and then some more on the lock of hair he'd blow up every so often.yet animals have a way of forgetting, something he knew very well but didnt bother about, since, he figured, he was only to them far less than they were to him, for very few things mattered to him. very few indeed, but he cared too much about too little things when it would have been breezier to care less about more things.he'd be like the next guy in the chicken rice queue, save some other things that could be important depending on how you see it.he'd still pop his angry red pus-filled pimple perched precariously on the edge of his lip, wincing and then fingering and then examining the fruits of his labour. and he'd wash his hands every time he went home, chuckling triumphantly at all the potential angry red pus-filled pimples he would never see.

godlessness

southeastasia readings always throw up hilarious stories. cue pineapples marching around in tonnes with ladies of flaming genitals. today's hilarious sentence from Tarling [religion and anti-colonial movements, p223], "Batak resistance to colonial rule centred on the Si Singa Mangaraja ('great-king-kind-of-lion') figure."

i miss the times we'd share funny images. i dont even talk to you anymore; our lives have diverged from the point where i started to look at the black. maybe i'll blame you.

black black heart

it describes a kind of degenerated nonchalance, of not bothering of others' values. it liberalises from without the kind of exasperation that you sense everytime you tell yourself "no, this must be wrong".it tells of fellatio and godlessness; a release of but hardening of the heart.

i think i might have hijacked schopenhauer.this might not be what i mean.i might have led dharma and aziah to believe in something even i dont.the mahjong paper must be ripped down to prevent further pseudo-enlightenment.
because i want to say this: f***! when i say its mine dont you f***ing give me shit that its not.you can take your f***ing jingoistic values and shove it up your ass!

i'm beginning to understand. when people ask you and say they want to know, they dont really, because they have no clue what they're headed for. its a world of sex, drugs and death.

it's called puberty, mummy.

music in my head :: belle and sebastian songs, all of them