jie ming

i devoted a whole day at home today - an achievement in many ways to the unenlightened - towards pseudo-meditation because i think i left a place last night and i think i have to find a new place. an unsuccessful endeavour, of course, but this has left me so sick of myself i shall look outside of my own miserable experiences and write about other miserable souls. as has already been so brightly displayed, i have - the choice was obvious - deemed fit to wax, um, lyrical [and not so] about jie ming, a boy who has managed to reach surprisingly messed up depths and is always slappable.

jie ming and i have [never-]bonded over mayday. he's been the first and, so far, only person i ever talk mayday with. i remember vividly stumbling onto his blog early in j1, and without having to read anything, just by looking at the pictures on the page, i knew that he knew about the biggest living band. this experience, and thus jie ming, represented the exhilaration and wide-eyed discoveries that were the First Three Months. in those younger days, having just been released from dunman hell, anything and everything was possible and the world was a big juicy oyster; the future promised hopes of people who knew what i was talking about and provided backdrops of adventure and great heights. i had been very mistaken.

in the past two years, we remained very comfortable strangers with our conversations punctuated with fuck-offs and whatever's and oh-mayday-so-and-so. in the two years, i watched at a distance, from the non-comfort of my plummeting depths, jie ming become another bitter old man [or was he already one? i never found out]. at the end of two years, we remain rude to each other yet surprisingly he is one of the few rafflesians i bother to contact outside of school. the distance between us has come full-circle and now it seems, in relation to the school days, that we have become closer, like i thought we'd be in the beginning. like jie ming, aspirations and melioris aevi's have most recently become more real to me than they ever were in the school days, just like they were in the beginning. only this time our expectations are tempered and i expect the world to become more bitchy than it already has been.

jie ming is now no longer just a guilty pleasure. he now carries with him images of nostalgia and for that i will probably not want to forget him. like he says, because i miss these parts of the school, rjc is forgiven.