now and tomorrow

the hot paramedic trainee. that sexy firefighter from the next rota. i cant seem to get to sleep! it's nice to imagine im different from all the hormonal ns guys but i must concede otherwise [well i am, kind of, but thats another story altogether]. theres just something about the coding, tck-tck-tck when a call comes in at the watch room, fire light coming on in the dorms, down the sliding pole, sirens, blinkers, street junctions, call texts, black telephone in the firepost. so i might screw up here and there now and then, so there's that slim chance of actually staring down death's throat. but, oh, i dont care really, this is all too great. this time, now, 18, life. who could sleep?

also, i feel really fat. haah never felt this normal, and it's giddy. greeaaatt!!