recalcitrant

funny enough, i amone of those people averse to happiness. boys that sms me too much turn me off completely; girls that look at me in that way get a big friendly slap on the back that shouts "brother!". instead i yearn for big impossibilities - monica from a year ago, maxine from press play, timothy nga and cameron diaz on tv. whoo whee! i am, frighteningly, the guy who loves the chase but not the catch. intimacy? not from where i can easily get it. love? leave it that blurry blob on the horizon.

and then last night i had that strange dream
where everything was exactly how it seemed
where concerns about the world getting warmer
the people thought they were just being rewarded
for treating others as they like to be treated
for obeying stop signs and curing diseases
for mailing letters with the address of the sender
now we can swim any day in november

last night i was disturbed from some good shit sleep by one such catch. 'twas a good catch, too good i suspect. so now my handphone becomes an object of intense loath. answers, i have not. apologies, plenty. so, sorry T. i really mean it, only in a very unrepenting, recalcitrant sort of way.

dont wake me i plan on sleeping in
Sleeping In, The Postal Service [or as rachel puts it, the postal code]