holy trinity, and then some more.

1. there can only be one reason for the high that im on right now at 9.05 on chinese new year eve [no, not the promise of kueh tarts or money]. at rough calculation, i managed to squash and swim within a matter of only 18 hours, and nothing makes me happier than exercising while people stuff their faces and waste their youth away. yay! plus many [read: enough] people say i look good in my too-small trunks. you CAN wait for photos if you want to.

2. the two days of public holidays - free time as far as the eye can see in ns-speak - mean i can finally get into the groove of reading mrs. dalloway. this is definitely not a book to be read between lectures or before lights out. it requires, demands, your focus, good posture, adequate lighting, iced water and perfect temperature. otherwise it descends into a string of woolfian sentences, which in turn are strings of random thoughts. oh dear, how delicious. can hardly wait.

3. while mr hodge had recounted "the deep dark feeling you get on sunday afternoons before you book in" in all sincerity, i have to say it's prolly because he did not have a mac and acquisition a.k.a. the world's best p2p programme. sunday night before booking in was spent on more criminal thieving of intellectual property. for the aurally starved, here, receive your manna.

a question for emily foreman, disconnect the dots, good morning mr. edminton by of montreal
god killed the queen, louis XIV by louis XIV
good i feel bad, queen of verlaine by high water marks
in action by we are scientists
last nite by strokes somehow "nite" becomes cool when it's the strokes that spells it like that
i want to tell you by timewellspent
the go in go-for-it by grandaddy
every day by buddy holly
man of the hour by pearl jam

4. this week i start my stint with toyfactory. i wonder... i hope... argh! so many possibilities. oh i hope i dont lose interest. like chingay.

wee beng has been comically engrossed in my deviant lifestyle, and i in his no less deviant one. tales of parangs, sex, big fishes [no, really] fill our nightly slumber party conversations. i always thought i mixed well with bengs and mats.

coincidentally, i watched big fish in the past week. a tightly constructed film with a stirring soundtrack to boot. right now im thinking about my father and all the stories he's told me [motorcycling naked, punching people, leaving home, travelling the world], and all the stories i know he hasnt told me, and im wondering whether i should be less judgemental of him. maybe like in the movie [ewan mcgregor's TEETH!], im just a continuation of my father and im destined to commit the same mistakes, and then some more.

so maybe all these things dont mean so much in themselves as compared to the light in which they are seen. if i hadnt reconciled with rhs, would i have been this... this dormant? and maybe we havent really reconciled, maybe i need to reconcile myself first. seeing ellery with his girlfriend just makes me wonder why on earth i even bother trying. seeing ellery with his girlfriend somehow just makes me want to put rhs down and run away. i could run away to afternoons at sicc and hanging out at thomson plaza. i couldnt, i wouldnt. i want to be the broken-hearted one; i dont want to be the ungrateful one. oh dear, maybe this is what being married is about. thinking you might have made a mistake, and having to live it out hour after hour of your life. how mrs. brown.