careful, careful now.

very aware of everything now, i am high on anti-crystal. i look down and down, fathoms, miles deep and i see no end to the depths to which i could fall. but whats tying me up here? i dont know. i should've known - a false slumber is only that, fitful and shallow. i already am waking up now and i can feel the void billowing under me. agh what it must feel like to fall again i dont want to know [again]. but it is all so present, the void lingering under me. and everyday i dip my toe into it, like a child would into water. no, not tonight, but soon. soon all this will be too repulsive and i will plunge into depths, head over heels and flailing arms.