terangkanlah

everything seemed to find definition that spring - a congruence, a miraculous matching of hope and past and present and possibility. striding across the fresh, green land. the rhythms of perception heightened. the whole enterprise of consciousness accelerated. we were gods that morning.
hugh, translations by brian friel

nothing scares me now more than the the next month. i see myself in the next month, sitting, by a table. around me school falls away, far beneath my feet - i am sitting on nothing, just my table and me, and you are somewhere else. too quickly; everything is speeding away, plunging, and my hair stands on end. this is like that poem, forgot which. everything is falling, skins being cast off, the time is running. and in the poem you are the constant, only i cannot bear to keep you from growing, from running, from casting off old skins. so here i am torn between strength and reliance, the same, unable to choose as usual. and it terrifies me, if it happens again - weary strength and wary of reliance. and all the while, as i am vacillating at the crossroads, everything is speeding past me.