my mother said

my mother said yesterday morning, "you look sleepy and tired. go ask for mc want or not?"
i was tempted to laugh in her face and say "i'm sleepy and tired everyday." but since i was counting on a lift to school i kept my mouth shut.

are you still

"are you still wallowing in self-pity?"
junxiong asked me on friday afternoon. i didnt consider myself to be, but i must've been: i spent a good part of the afternoon cooped up in the art room.the collective j1 energy was too much for some one like me.it was too strong however, as the most self-gratuitous j1 couple actually called me up and tracked me down in the art room to give me a valentine's which [i assumed] was made together laughing and looking into each other's eyes.i ate all my chocolates after that.

spite vol.1

for the rest of the afternoon pj ivan crashed so i tried to play the good host, losing my handphone and his watch in the process. he spent the later part of the afternoon looking for it [someone found them] but i spent that time parading him around just to spite someone else. one thing about trying to spite someone: you could go to all lengths in the world and yet you might never get the time of day.

spite vol.2 [last night was]

last night was easily the most loveless valentine's i had in years. met felicia for the double with a couple called see leng [or si leng or something.a non-descript chinese name for a non-descript chinese girl] and justin, who was quite interesting and certainly deserves better than whatshername. i kept trying to cook up a story in my mind titled "Why I Am Here" but it went nowhere. maybe we were just four lonely people trying to piece together a decent excuse for a date but ending up with far more pain and irritation than we had asked for. we split ways after the apologetic tiramisu, so representative of my apologetic night, and told felicia i wanted to go home so i cabbed home with a free dinner in my tummy and forty bucks in my pocket

in comparison

in comparison, valentine's eve was alot more fun! hung out with obs people and camped at ivan's house with ahmad. yay! i should probably spend less nights alone i could be a better person.then again, maybe i wont.

i'm finding my way back to sanity again
though I don't really know what i'm gonna do when I get there
take a breath and hold on tight
spin around one more time
and gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace

i am hanging on every word you say
and even if you dont wanna speak tonight
thats alright, alright with me
i want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door
and listen to you breathing is where I want to be

movie to watch : the dreamers